if he grows up to be a garbage man, i won't lie, i'll be a little disappointed

Whoever said you shouldn't let babies play with plastic bags is crazy. Because Abraham spent - I kid you not - over 30 MINUTES straight playing with one today. And if you know him at all, you'll know that, of course, it was a garbage bag. Anderson took out the trash and the recycling, and I got out two new bags. While I was putting one in the garbage can, Abe took the other and put it in the recycling bin. And then took it out and shook it, just like he saw me do to get the bag open. Then he adjusted it, put it back in, put the lid on, moved it around, adjusted, took it out, put it back in...you get the drift. I actually MADE and ATE dinner, uninterrupted! (Okay, the dinner was mostly made at this point...but I finished!)

Actually his whole process was really fascinating to me. This is where some of you might roll your eyes, but I'm serious! I have been reading a lot about Montessori education, and one thing that is talked about is the focus and concentration that a child will have when a task matches exactly right with his/her developmental needs. The child will spend a lot of time and energy on the task, repeating it over and over again, in a way that may seem super boring to us adults. And then when finished, instead of being tired, the child will feel calm and satisfied. The task is fulfilling some sort of developmental need that we may not even understand. And I have seen Abraham focused and spending time on different activities, but this was the longest I have ever seen him do just one task this way. I don't know what sort of need this was fulfilling for him at all - order? precision? mimicking adult tasks? And he might have even gone on longer except I unfortunately did something that distracted him.

Anyway, totally cool, garbage bag! I owe you one!

Coping

Abe likes to put his stuffed animals on the bed one by one to make them sleep, and today, after another night of too little sleep, I decided to get in on the action. I lay down with brown bear as my pillow and told him I was going to sleep too. I didn't actually get to sleep, of course. But lying down with my eyes closed while he piled toys on my head and checked me with his doctor kit was almost like a spa day.

I'm getting reckless these days. I fall asleep fast. Too fast. Too fast, and too deep. It's getting out of control. I can't even stop myself anymore. Prodded awake numerous times throughout the night, yet somehow I don't wake. I barely wake. I sleepwalk through the night and into the morning. I burrow into the mattress. My eyes fight to stay closed, and win. My brain is on autopilot. Every night, more of the same. I can't seem to kick this habit. I've even started sleeping during the day - sometimes only for a few minutes. But other days, like today, I sleep for hours. Then spend the rest of the evening looking forward to my next sleep. Preparing for it. Planning for it. It's sick. I can't even look at myself anymore. I don't recognize my own face in the mirror - the sleep-heavy eyes, sheet-creased cheeks, rumpled hair. Part of me wants to just accept it: this is now my life. But the other part, the rational part, screams that I can change.

Routine

Months ago, the days seemed so long. I couldn't wait for five o'clock when Anderson would get home and give me a little reprieve, especially on days when we stayed home. Now, though, the days zoom by, each hour slipping away unnoticed. Now I look forward to a day, like today, with nowhere to go, no plans. And the day is still flying by. I can't figure out what has changed. Here's a little run-down of our day so far...doesn't it seem like we have done nothing? How can the day be almost over already? (The times are not estimated. We end and start our activities precisely on the minute. Yes...)

7:30  -  Wake up (later than usual) just in time to say goodbye to Anderson, play around in bed for a bit.

8:00  -  Abraham plays around in the kitchen while I have a quick breakfast. (He usually nurses as soon as he wakes up and so doesn't want breakfast).

8:15  -  We play with the play-doh we made yesterday. I need to take pictures of this.

8:30  -  He eats crackers and cheese while I do the dishes.

8:50  -  Coloring with markers on the fridge. Well not ON the fridge...on paper on the fridge. This is actually an excellent idea, if I do say so myself. We were doing this with the paper on the floor, but he seems to prefer standing and find it easier to draw and move around. I wanted to take a video of him drawing with one marker, and then putting the top back on and putting it in the bucket, but as soon as I get out the phone/camera, he just wants to watch videos on it. But I was able to get a picture! What a little artist!

9:30  -  A little Sesame Street and Elmo's World. Man, does he love Elmo.

10:00  -  Outside! Raking, running, rescuing worms, and then a walk with Abe in the stroller.

11:20  -  Back inside for lunch and a little whining. Definitely getting close to nap time.

12:00  -  Start nap process

12:30  -  Sleeping!

He'll sleep till 2:30 or 3, and then if the weather's still nice, we'll go outside and blow bubbles. Probably color with markers some more. And we haven't even played with toys in his room at all today! Then dinner and the day's almost over. See what I mean? So fast!

Resurrection

So, I sometimes don't write in my blog. And this mostly has to do with a baby. There's the baby's natural time-thievery, of course. But there's also this: that baby becomes the only Material. The only topic of Discussion. And maybe some people don't wanna hear about my dang ol' baby every day. But I think now with the new year approaching, I need to embrace this as my current reality. In fact, baby really needs to be upgraded to toddler, and toddler is way cool. Seriously. Read on, and you will see.

And now that baby = toddler, I am reading Montessori everything and trying to create "games" and "activities" rather than just toys. And I am tired of plastic. Tired of brightly colored and noisy. I want wood, and simple, and open-ended. These are the things toddler spends more time with anyway.

But I'm learning, here, guys, and open to suggestions. How To Make the Perfect Baby Toddler Boy Into Real Person. That is the book I would like to read. Or maybe, How Much Can Brain Hold If Not Stifled? Toddler brain so far holds the names and/or sounds of all letters. Some numbers, colors, and shapes. Especially the crescent or moon shape. Did you know a C is a moon? And so is a cashew? And so is a cartoon mouth? He has pointed all of these moons out to me. Moons are everywhere and amazing.

He also climbs steps, drinks from a glass, puts away his toys, plays hide-and-seek, reflects on his actions, and wishes desperately for the motor skills necessary for dressing himself. Alas! To be able to put on a shoe!

So we are doing some fun stuff here these days. Like making smoothies! I promise these are berries and not blood or tomatoes.

Shout out

Okay, Google. Okay, Gmail. I knew already you were awesome. But what you said today really helped me out. I didn't even know you were paying attention! There I was, writing a quick email, and when I hit send, you popped up and said, "You wrote 'I have attached' but there is no file attached. Would you like to attach a file?" And I was all, "Oh, snap. Yes. Yes I would."

And several seconds were saved.

Things of the day

1. Do you remember driving gloves? I think it is time for a comeback.

2. Snow!

3. Something Creative This Way Must Come (Soon)

4. A letter to my husband

Dearest sweetums,

I am so happy that - now that it's cold outside - you always remember to close the basement door to conserve heat. I am also perplexed as to why you could not remember to do this same task in order to save not heat but THE LIFE OF OUR CHILD who might fall down the stairs. Hmm? What say you, DEAR?

Yours always,

Reen