stop making babies so complicated

So, I'm still pregnant.

Yup.

No contractions or anything. Just chillin.

Of course, my due date's not until next Saturday, so it's all good. And I still have things I need to get done. And some sleeping to do. But on the other hand, I'm gigantic and waddley and perpetually uncomfortable. Not to mention ready to play with a cute baby!

In other news, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a good movie, cheese fries are delicious, and my husband is a total cutie. He did this little dance today, I forget why, but it was priceless. I call it super-cute syndrome. [Also, since he just read this part over my shoulder, he says I shouldn't call it a good movie, because then I'm putting myself out there too much or something, that I should just say I enjoyed it. But whatever. And then he walked outside the room and out of sight, then said, "What's this? The leg of a man?" and danced across the doorway. It was awesome. I almost peed.]

Also, I can't call people on the phone, apparently, or they think I'm having a baby. When it actually does happen, I'll have to be cool about it, call my mom and just be like, "Hey, what's up? Just calling to see how you're doing...."

I was looking through this list of suggested baby registry items today to see if there was anything we needed to buy for immediate use. First of all, I can't remember what the little suction thing is called to get stuff out of baby's nose, and it wasn't on the list. Somehow I just don't think "snot sucker" is right, but I can't think of anything else to call it. Second, what the heck, marketing? Why do you have to make people think they actually need all this stuff in order to have a baby? Seriously, you should see this list, people. There are four different types of strollers listed. For the car seat, apparently we need strap covers, neck wings, head support, car seat carrier cover, baby sunshade, car seat undermat, and car seat toys. At home, we need a swing (a travel swing, too), a jumper, a walker, a stationary entertainer, a bouncer/rocker, and a baby carrier. I'm sure babies have survived for thousands of years without all these things, and ours will too. Raising a baby does not require technology. I also don't like things that put the baby on its own without human interaction. When we were shopping for a diaper bag, I saw one that had a little pocket on the front that was for an mp3 player with a hole for the headphones to come out. For a split second, I was like, oh, that's cool, so it's tucked away. And then I thought, wait...the only time you would be carrying the diaper bag, most likely, is when you are with your baby. Why do you have headphones on when you're with the baby? Seriously, are you just tuning him out? Or he's asleep, and you won't hear when he wakes up? I dunno, man...seems neglectful.

/rant

bank your baby's cord blood? what?

So, for those of you that are unaware, I have become very masterful at the art of complaining. Actually, I shouldn't call it an art, because it takes no talent whatsoever. In the month and a half that I have been nauseous (or nauseated, as Anderson would say is the more appropriate word), I have most likely succeeded in convincing all of my friends and family that having a child is incredibly unpleasant. I hope the child itself is unaware of how unpleasant its development has been for me thus far. It's very frustrating because I would like nothing more than to enjoy all the changes that my body is going through and focus on the amazing reality of a life growing inside me. But, if you haven't caught on, the CONSTANT NAUSEA makes this difficult. Today has been particularly bad, even though I am past the first trimester and should be reaching the end of morning sickness. Hint, hint, body.

This pregnancy is by far the strangest thing that has ever happened to me. And I think part of the complaining is my way of dealing with the baffling changes. I'm forgetful. I can't focus. I'm tired a lot, but have trouble sleeping. My digestive system is wacky. I feel like I have to pee all the time even though I don't. My stomach is getting a little bulgy. And man, I thought people exaggerated about the hormonal emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy, but they did not. No sir, they did not. Emotional moments on TV or in books have me in tears. Things that Anderson says that normally I would laugh at make me cry. I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time, but didn't cry until an hour later.

There's a lot that sweet and exciting and amazing. Last night Anderson and I were reading about how talking to the baby before it's born and playing music for it helps it to become a genius baby! But then I'll read something about breastfeeding or birth, and I'm like, grooooosssss.... Seriously. There are some things I wish I could go back and remove from my brain. But I will spare you the details. Unless you want them, and then I will share and you will be disgusted.

So, yeah. Even though I'm the oldest of 7 kids and watched the birth of 3 of them, even cutting a cord for one, and even though my sister just had a baby less than a year ago, I still had/have no idea what to expect with all of this...