we still live in the city, i think

Sit back in your easy chairs and let me tell you a little story. Okay, it's not really that great of a story, but it has a super conclusion! So hang around!

I wanted my life to be good and rotten. That is, I wanted to start composting. And then start a garden and feed it deliciously rich homemade soil. So I put some veggie skins and bones in a bucket outside the back door, intending to find a good spot in the yard to start 'er up. But then I forgot. Because I have a baby (the patented go-to excuse for all my failings). And in the morning the bucket was tipped over and vegetable remains were strewn across the porch. Not a big surprise. It's a critter! I was a little more alarmed, however, when the next night I put a lid on the bucket...with a BRICK on top of it...and the critter still had his way with the fruity corpses. I thought it was a possum.

Until a few days later, a giant hole was dug under our concrete porch. This is where I should have a picture to show you, but I don't. Anyway, fast forward to today, when I casually glance out the window to see this, IN OUR OWN BACKYARD!

Scary! Anderson, who only saw the pictures, deemed it "cute." But it's an R.O.U.S., I tell you! According to the online business of looking things up online, though, it is only a groundhog. I thought they were just in the movies.

Anybody want a new, exotic pet? Wow your friends! Predict the coming of spring! Come get this out of my yard!

rubber duckie needed

So I needed to give Abe a bath and I thought, hey! Now that he's sitting up on his own pretty well, I can let him sit up in his little tub, so that he can splash and have fun!

I'll let that sink in for a moment. Perhaps some of you more experienced moms are already chuckling.

Gotta say, folks. I did not think that one through. Man, did that kid splash. I got a bath too, and I wasn't even in the tub. The him enjoying it goal was achieve, though.

toothy

I just read this article entitled "When Kids Attack!" and I have to say, although the article focuses primarily on the toddler age, Abe is in attack mode already. His nails are like talons that he digs into my tender flesh, attempting to tear it from the bone. Often when I hold him or get my face anywhere near his face, he grabs both sides of my head however he can - a wad of hair or a fist-full of cheek - and pulls me in toward his gaping, toothy maw. Then he latches on, sinking in teeth, and coating my face in drool. Oh, the hazards of the job!

He vicious!

spring may have sprung, or at least is in the process of springing

Oh my gosh, you guys. Spring may be here! The signs are good! First of all, THE WEATHER, SHE IS NICE. Oh so nice. We went to the park yesterday, which was teeming with babies all colors, shapes, and sizes, and Abe got to swing for the first time in his life! And he loooooved it! There was much grinning and shrieking to be had. And today, walking around in the backyard, I see green shoots and red buds all up on some trees. And wildflowers on the ground. And birds singing. It's pretty glorious. My ancestors clearly did not come from cold climates, nor have I evolved to enjoy them.

I think today requires another trip to the park.

night

When he stirs in his sleep, Abe reaches for me with both hands, as if to say, “I need you so much closer.” Whether I am a foot away or lying nose to nose, he reaches. In the middle of the night, he buries his face in my arm, curls into my chest. I nudge him away to make sure he can breathe, but he scoots his way back. And why shouldn’t he? For most of his life, we were so much closer. He didn’t have to turn to reach me. How unfair of me to change the rules and demand less than full body contact. At night is when he misses it most. So we sleep, his head on my chest, my knees curled under him, his leg on my leg. And because I miss it too, I press my face against his. Hold his hand in mine. As we breathe each other's breaths.

baby daze

Oh, what a perfect baby I have! He really is wonderful and only gets more so by the day. His one downfall is that he loves his mama. Downfall, you ask? How can this be? Well let me recount all his perfections and how is love for me mars each one.

He will sleep – soundly and gloriously, through most of the night, through 2-hour naps. As long as I am right there, sleeping with him (or alternately, have him wrapped to my chest). If I get up so much as to go to the bathroom, he is up too.

He will play happily and contentedly in his jumperoo or playmat* as long as I am in the same room, preferably seated right there in front of him oooing and aaahing at his every move.

He rarely fusses during diaper changing, as long as I am the one changing him.

He will kindly allow me to fix dinner or do dishes, as long as he’s up on the counter watching, right next to me.

He will then allow me to eat said dinner in peace, as long as I have him in one arm.

He even occasionally lets me check email, if he can bang on the keys too.

Basically, he is most contented when I am RIGHT IN HIS FACE. Anything less is unacceptable.

*All these made-up words, my God!

it's a bird, it's a plane

Why, yes, baby and I DID recently take a trip. On an airplane. Alone. And, oh, it was quite the adventure! It began early in the morning when I realized that OMG BABY, why do I need to pack so much stuff? This was a 6 day trip and normally I would have taken a carry-on and a backpack, but with a baby suddenly I was checking a car seat, stroller, jungle gym, playpen, crib, and ten suitcases.* My BFF, having no idea what she was getting herself into, drove us to the airport and helped to roll all our stuff inside. Thank you, Sleepy Wrap, for allowing me to be hands-free! And then Abe fell asleep as we walked to our gate, which was, of course, at the other end of the universe. He slept through security and getting a snack, and gate checking the stroller, and woke up just in time to board the plane. Yikes!

And because a baby makes things take forever, I was one of the last people to board. And because Southwest doesn’t assign seats, there were only middle seats left. Crap. I was so nervous about being THAT WOMAN with the crying baby that everybody on the plane would hate. But luckily, I sat between a reasonably friendly but uninterested woman and a very friendly, on her way to visit her grandbaby woman who chatted Abe up the whole flight. Luckily too, my baby is awesome and did not cry much. Mid-flight, though, he decided it was lunchtime and I nursed him! Awkwardly! In between two strangers! His custom as of late is to also empty his bowels during mealtime, and I was literally praying that this would not happen. But then I felt the rumblings. And my sweet, darling, precious son proceeded to have the longest, loudest poop known to man. My prayer quickly changed to just PLEASE let it all stay in his diaper. But no dice. I pick him up only to find a yellow crescent on my jeans. And because there was turbulence, I couldn’t get up to change him. For the rest of the flight. So there we are, sitting between two strangers, covered in poop, for the next hour. Hooray!

Then we had to change planes, which was fine. I had our schedule all planned out: after the immediate changing, feed me, play, feed him, put him to sleep. Just in time for the next flight! Which was then delayed! Luckily, he slept through most of it anyway, until the descent when he woke up crying probably due to ear pressure. I glanced anxiously around, hoping no one was giving me an evil stare. Instead, they gave me advice! Rub his ears! Give him a pacifier! Yay for nice strangers!

The trip back was somewhat better because 1) I knew what to expect and 2) there was a stop, but we didn’t have to change planes. But the poop escapade repeated itself (seriously, baby?), except we got to use the changing table in the tiny, gross bathroom. Which really wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be. The table was very sturdy. Then later, when the crying began, a flight attendant took him and walked him around the plane! Walking and being held are his two favorite things, so this worked out quite well. She even sang to him! It was pretty great, I have to say. Not only does it take a village to raise a child, it also takes a flight crew.

*Warning! This post contains a slight amount of exaggeration.